Mixed feelings

Haiz..Haiz...
A week staying at home,doing the e learning..
Finally, tmr is the day i will got to class!
Should be happy?
I think happy ba...
But i feel that I have missing smt whenever I am in class...
Something... a sense of belonging.
Somehow I don't really know how to connect to them.
They are not like primary or secondary anymore...
Primary is like " Let's be friends!" den we shall be friends.
Secondary is like " Hello! My name is xxx, want to go eat together? xxxx" den naturally we can be friends...
But...but...poly is like..
erm..I don't know how to say...
just can't connect to them...
so I stay quiet...
I should not stay quiet if I really want to be friends...
yeah..i should talk more...
But when I talk to them, I will realize that I still can't connect with them...
our convenation soon died down...so cold..so don't know what to talk...
Haiz..what should I do?
Prehaps, I will try again ba...
I want to change myself...so hard to change...